


but i know this crush ain't goin' away

by zanykingmentality



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: (but like not actually), Character Study, Crushes, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Introspection, Pining, Study Date, Unrequited Love, Vignette, i've been stuck in a writing slump so i'm forcing myself out of it, ish, kind of dialogue heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 17:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanykingmentality/pseuds/zanykingmentality
Summary: Yeah, Peter's kind ofwhipped.





	but i know this crush ain't goin' away

**Author's Note:**

> junior year is a real bitch how did they have time to do so much romance i don't even have time to sleep 
> 
> anyway i'm supposed to be studying for standardized tests but procrastination does wonders for the creative process, so here i wrote this. it's short, but i hope you enjoy!

Peter finds himself looking at her when he shouldn’t be. 

 

Fake relationship or not, he can’t shake the feeling that he shouldn’t be watching the way Lara Jean taps her pencil against her lips, pokes her tongue against the curve of her cheek. Can’t stop thinking about how much he wants to drag his mouth over the dip of her shoulder, draw patterns into the curve of her back, feel her head against his shoulder. All that, and more. Peter wishes and wants and waits. 

 

In his defense, though, he hadn’t  _ planned _ on falling for Lara Jean. Yeah, when this all started, he’d been convinced Gen was his one and only true love, or  _ something. _ So the fake relationship began, and on accident he made it bleed into something more real. It became everything of a real relationship, minus the kissing. And most would be upset about that, but Peter’s mostly content with things being like  _ this, _ easy and calm and low-key. 

 

Mostly. He can’t help himself, sometimes. 

 

See, most guys aren’t into the whole “study date” idea. Maybe that’s because most guys aren’t utterly whipped on someone as seemingly unattainable as Lara Jean Song-Covey, or maybe that’s just because most teenage boys are hornier and have less self-control than Peter does. In any case, the conclusion he draws from this line of thinking is that it is utterly unnatural for him, the  _ fake _ boyfriend, to be lying on his back in Lara Jean’s room while she does homework at her desk. 

 

(Were he a real boyfriend, sure, this would be fine. But that’s just a product of his wishful thinking.) 

 

“Lara Jeaaaaan,” Peter whines, drawing out the syllables in her name. 

 

“What?” she says, unamused. 

 

“This is  _ boring. _ ” Peter twists over onto his stomach. “Let’s go do something.”

 

“No,” Lara Jean says. “I have studying to do and colleges to look into.” 

 

“You don’t have to think about all that until the summer,” Peter complains. 

 

“I like to be on top of things.” 

 

Peter spares a glance around her messy, messy room and laughs loudly. The tips of her ears go pink. 

 

“Shut up!” 

 

Oh, Peter Kavinsky is utterly, irrevocably, head-over-heels in love with her. God, she makes him smile so hard his  _ face  _ threatens to split. Being absolutely in love is quite the disease. Now he gets why all those songs compare it to like, sickness and drugs and shit. They’re kind of inaccurate though, because loving Lara Jean isn’t like a drug-high described in pretty words of co-dependence, and it’s not like the head-aching breathlessness of disease, especially not the kind that leaves miserable emotions bunched up in his hair. Loving Lara Jean is like loving the moon, like staring up at the night sky and smiling at its presence, the twinkling stars that accompany it in the night sky. Loving Lara Jean is like sleeping in the grass on a warm day, like cute stationery, pen and paper, and the cute nose-twitch of a bunny. 

 

“Let’s watch Bambi,” Peter blurts out. Lara Jean even stops glaring daggers into her homework to look at him. 

 

“That’s unexpected for you,” she says. 

 

“Why? Is it so hard to believe that I like soft and good animated stuff too?” 

 

“Well, kinda? You’re the one that showed me Fight Club.” 

 

“That’s different, Covey.” He hops to his feet and leans against her desk. “C’mon. Watch a movie with me.” 

 

“You’re a terrible fake boyfriend,” Lara Jean groans, but she pushes away from her desk anyway. 

  
“I fake love you too,” Peter quips, and how he wishes he could take the word  _ fake _ out of all of it and maybe make out with her a little bit too. 

**Author's Note:**

> god i love them never let me stop writing for them
> 
> title comes from the song crush by david archuleta


End file.
